Wikipedia defines the Mermaid problem as: “an observation occasionally mentioned in literature, concerning the difficulty of having sexual intercourse with a mermaid”. Yep, that’s tough. It is just impossible to get into Ariel’s pants. However, as it turns out, back in the old days mermaid anatomy was a bit more sensible- many early mermaids are pictured with two tails, leaving space between them for a vagina. Just in case that wasn’t obvious enough for you, the standard pose for these mermaids was lying on their backs, split tails wrapped up over their heads in a way that I’ve see most often in parts of the Kama Sutra. Mermaid porn, as it were. The funny thing is, one of there spread-eagle sirens is so common amongst us that you are probably sitting near her right now. She’s been censored ofer the last few years, of course- you can probably only see her face. But if you’ve lived in the Northeast for a while, you may well be able to think WAAAY back, to when the Starbucks logo looked like this:
That’s right. Tits out, spread-eagled, and ready to jam out with her clam out.
Sadly, though, these days her tails are just at the edges of the design and her boobs are gone altogether.
Fuck you, Starbucks. I like porn with my coffee.
For more mermaid porn, check out my new set on Suicidegirls.com, “Mermaid Fantasy”